We Can Paint If We Want To

I’ve wanted to put together a post for a while now about all the crafty things I’ve been doing the past few months but I just haven’t gotten my pictures and everything together yet. So the rest will come later, but I couldn’t wait to share the project I just finished last night!

I am doing a grey, white and yellow color scheme in our bedroom here in Lincoln. I was determined to make my own art for the walls to save some money. I had a large canvas that I had put together from the old house and I decided that size would work really well over our bed.

Imagine the circles on a white canvas. Somehow I have absolutely no pictures of this after I finished it. Go figure, huh?

So I set out to remove the circles that I had Mod Podged onto the canvas so that I could paint it grey and…no dice. Apparently I was very thorough with the Mod Podge a few months ago. (As I type this, I’m having flashbacks of second, third, and fourth coats. So…yeah)

Plan B – rather than removing the circles I was going to cover them up. I got plain grey broadcloth from good ol’ Hobby Lobby at a whopping $2.99/yard and hot glued it onto the canvas to cover up my wonky circles and my sad attempts at removing them. But after one layer of that thin broadcloth you could still see the circles. Sigh. Better make it two layers. : )

After the canvas was completely covered with the grey broadcloth, I let it sit for about two weeks. This ‘resting’ period was not necessary for the project unless you consider me freaking out about ruining my canvas necessary. I apparently did. I spent that time looking up DIY artwork ideas online and trying to muster up the courage to take on this project on my own. Here are some of the ideas that I liked:

Ultimately I decided to TRY to recreate the gorgeous chrysanthemum pattern that I saw on the piece from the Simple Vie shop on Etsy. I loved what she did, but the teal wouldn’t work and I couldn’t afford to pay someone else to do it. So last night I decided enough was enough and I started out.

I used my disappearing ink marker that I occasionally use for sewing and spent roughly 40 minutes drawing out exactly 260 petals on my fabric-covered canvas. (I didn’t count them until I was done painting because I was afraid I would break down sobbing give up. And then—let the painting begin!

I painted…

And painted…

And kept painting…

And then, about three hours later…

Finito! I have to say, I’m beyond happy with how it turned out. I had very little confidence in my ability to paint something like that, but it was really very simple and required basically no skill. It just looks complicated.

Here it is in my room. I love it! Since we don’t have a headboard it really gives the bed a little pizzazz. Now what is missing from the bed? Oh, that’s right. Pillows! That’s right up there on my to-do list too. : )

I also took a couple pictures of the little felt flowers I got at Michael’s and added on to my lampshades. I’m still trying to decide if I think those lamps work in there. A little too small maybe? Hmm…maybe I should go to TJ Maxx just to be safe…

Ten Things I Learned About Life

{You have to read the title like the Heath Ledger movie 'Ten Things I Hate About You.' Just so you know.} : )

Isn’t it funny how you learn things along the way? And once you’ve learned them, you can’t help but feel a little bit sorry for all those dumb naïve teenagers that obviously have no idea what real life is all about?

I’ve been thinking about this lately for a few different reasons and I’ve come up with my own semi-original list of little insights into life. Some are meant to be funny. Some are serious. And some are so true they’re frightening. (Are you worried yet?) : )

 Disclaimer: these will not be true for everyone. These are just some of the things I’ve learned as I’ve stumbled journeyed through the daily chaos and blessings of being a grown-up, a wife, and a mother.

1. Never ask your husband ANY questions about your weight. It’s a lose-lose situation for both of you. Anything he says will be used against him (Miranda rights don’t hold any water in marriage), and you will end up feeling bad about yourself even if he tells you he thinks you look great.  
2. Women, if you want to complain about something you have two choices. You can either call your best friend/sister/whoever and gripe to them or you can give your husband/boyfriend/fiancée/male counterpart strict instructions not to try to solve anything before you say a single word. Those instructions are very important; they will save you from feeling defensive when you think he acts like your problem is simple and easily fixed. And it will save him from being completely confused when you get upset at him for giving what he thinks is sound advice.
3. When you have babies you will really never sleep again. I know that most people have probably heard this and thought it’s just a horror story that parents tell, but it’s actually true. Let me tell you why: even if your kids are sleeping you can hear them. Even if you are sleeping, you can hear them moving around or stirring or whining in their sleep. And if by some miracle you are sleeping so soundly you could swear you’re once again single and childless, that’s when they’ll lower the boom. “Mommy, I wet the bed. Mommy, I threw up. Mommy, I wet the bed and threw up and plugged the toilet and there’s water all over the floor and I think something’s on fire.” Don’t say you haven’t been warned. : )
4. Just because something comes easily to you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work for it. Trust me on this one. I floated through high school and most of college and then when I did need to study, I had absolutely no idea how to go about it. This idea also holds true when you have some natural gift for something. You have to work hard and dedicate yourself to improvement in order to achieve mastery of any subject. For example, no one can sit on a sofa in their pajamas drinking Mountain Dew and consuming massive quantities of chocolate quite like I can. It’s taken years, but I’ve truly mastered it. Dedication people!
5. Make a decision early in your relationship about how you and your husband are going to fight. I know this sounds stupid and/or pessimistic, but the truth is that you ARE going to fight. And if there are no ground rules, you’ll fight dirty. When we first got married, Landon and I decided we weren’t going to yell at each other. In my experience yelling is the first step toward losing control and I simply wasn’t going to be in a marriage where one of us was losing our cool all the time. We also resolved not to call each other names. If we do call each other a name, it is as a joke. : )
6. Money sucks. You’re always either trying to get more, trying to save more, wanting to spend more, or trying to figure out where all of yours went. Don’t let it control your happiness or your mood. I’ve definitely had my stressed-out times when I’ve been trying to figure out why, with the two of us working a total of three jobs, we were having trouble making ends meet. The answer always comes back to us. I like these sayings:

 “It's not your salary that makes you rich, it's your spending habits.”

-Charles A. Jaffe

“The only reason a great many American families don’t own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments.”

-Mad Magazine

7. If you figure out how to be happy with your weight, please let me know. I thought I was fat in high school at 120 pounds and now I’m looking back and trying to figure out when I ate part of that 120-pound girl. It’s too bad, really. She was kind of cute : )
8. There will be moments in your time as a mother that you will look at your child in some ridiculous state (covered in poop/vomit, screaming at the top of her lungs, whining like there’s no tomorrow, or trying to kill her younger siblings) and think, “How on earth did I get here?” Don’t worry. You’re not a bad mom and it will pass. I’m not saying it ever gets easy, but those moments are very temporary and the important thing to remember is that you are their Mommy. They are your gift from God and He trusts YOU to take care of them and do the right thing. Whether or not you feel like you can, you can. Also, if anyone without kids ever even looks at you judgmentally, you have my permission you slap them. They’ll understand soon enough, but they need that look wiped off their faces right now so help me God. : )
9. Don’t treat anyone like they’re stupid. Waitresses, Wal-Mart cashiers, those teenagers that apparently have no idea how silly they look. No one. No one deserves that. On a side note: many people seem to believe they can treat their family worse than they can perfect strangers, presumably because ‘blood is thicker than water.’ (I totally don’t get that saying, by the way.) The truth is rudeness is rudeness no matter who you’re talking to. Don’t treat your family like they just have to stick around and take everything you dish out. They don’t deserve it any more than a random stranger does.
10. Finally, the one that I’ve learned that I kind of wish I hadn’t. I have regrets. I regret quitting cross country in middle school. I regret not learning how to handle my money wisely when I got my first real job at age 14. I regret not traveling more before getting married. None of that is to say that my life right now would be any different except that I might have maintained a MUCH better fitness regime throughout my life, kept better track of my finances, and seen a little bit more of the world. Regrets (I think) are just a part of life. And unless you live your life doing everything you want to, you will have regrets. Scratch that. I think that everyone will have regrets at some time in their life. They don’t have to define you or depress you. Let your regrets change the way you make your choices in the future so that you can reduce—if not eliminate—your ‘should-woulda-couldas’ in the future.  

So there you have it. The world according to yours truly. I know. I’m so wise, right? I’m not sure if any of that is useful or particularly insightful but it’s been on my mind for a while now so I thought I’d share.

I leave you with Tina Fey’s “Prayer For My Daughter.” I love it and it sums up so much of what having a daughter is like. : )

 First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half and stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her – When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes and not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need not lie with drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers and the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

 And when she one day turns on me and calls me a bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

 And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a mental note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

 Amen.

Late Night Insanity

I don’t like to shop. I know that’s weird coming from a female, but it’s the cold, hard truth. There are some exceptions to this though. I LOVE shopping for my kids. Almost anything is cute in a size 6 months (for Judah) and in 4T-5T (for the girls). I also really enjoy shopping for my home and for crafty items. Hmm…maybe I should edit my original statement to “I don’t like to shop for myself.”

There’s something about buying something that’s just for me that seems inherently selfish. I mean, there are plenty of things that my family could use that I should be putting that money toward, right? The idea of buying a shirt/purse/outfit, etc that only I will use doesn’t quite seem fair.

But last night I did it. I went nuts. Nuts I tell you! I bought myself—wait for it—a new wallet! I know, I know. It’s just crazy. : ) I have to admit I felt like such a rebel when I clicked on the ‘Add to Shopping Cart’ button. And even more when I entered in my shipping information. Then came the credit card info and I could feel my heart start to pound. And when I finally clicked that ‘Place Order’ button, I literally threw my arms up in the air and cheered, “Oh yeah!” (Just like Vector in Despicable Me).

So why this sudden bout of selfish abandon? Well, it was time for a new wallet. The one that I currently have is about two years old and even though I love the colors and funky look of it, the fact that I have to hold it shut with one of my daughter’s elastic hair ties is too much for even me. I’ve been surviving that way for a while, but yesterday morning when I was at the mall with the kids shopping for—not me, I noticed the sales clerk giving me a funny look when I removed the purple hair tie from my wallet while searching for my debit card. I had to draw the line. No one was noticing how cute my wallet was anymore. All they could see was that darn purple hair tie. Curse curse curse.

After much deliberation, (I honestly thought about it all afternoon) I decided it was time for a new one and set out to find the perfect wallet out there on the World Wide Web. I checked out etsy.com where I found a couple of neat options, looked on Buckle.com just for old time’s sake (Mr. Bug used to work there), did a search at Amazon.com, and finally just punched ‘wallet for women’ into Google. Blessed Google. : )

http://www.etsy.com/listing/78960216/yellow-leather-clutch-and-wallet

http://www.etsy.com/listing/81693712/stephanie-womens-wallet-in-blue?ref=cat3_gallery_8

http://www.amazon.com/Womens-Royce-Leather%C2%AE-Credit-Clutch/dp/B000BT2L98/ref=sr_1_55?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1315925816&sr=1-55

http://www.buckle.com/nicole-lee-signature-trifold-wallet/prd-61180EM4311/sku-9550700000

And there it was. Those magic words: FOSSIL® Wallets - Iconic American Style - Est. 1984 | Fossil.com. Cue chorus of angels just like when I walk into Target. Fossil is pretty much my ideal for casual awesomeness. I know there are lots of other brands that are fancier and more stylish, but for me it’s always been just the right style.

I checked out the site and looked at a few different wallets. I thought about going for one solid color, a.k.a. boring, and ultimately decided on this one. Drum roll please…

http://www.fossil.com/en_US/shop/women/wallets/checkbook_wallets/key_per_zip_clutch-sl2900p.html?parent_category_rn=249509&departmentCategoryId=30000&N=0&Ns=p_wsc3%7C0%7C%7Cp_weight%7C0&pn=c&rec=8&imagePath=SL2900202

BOOM! It’s definitely more money than I would usually spend on myself, but I figured that since it’s higher quality I’ll probably have it for a few years. And if I use it even just once a day for two years, that brings the cost per use down to about half a cent. Even I can justify that to my cheapskate inner self! : )

So there you have it. My late-night wallet-shopping insanity. Now I’m just counting down the hours until I see that magical little package in the mail. I can just imagine the little angel song when I open that mailbox…

All Hail Mediocrity!

I have always been good at a lot of things. Don’t sign off now and think I’m going to do some kind of pat on the back post here, ‘cause I’m not. Hear me out. : )

Like I said, I have always been good at a lot of things. I’m fairly smart and I always got decent grades without really having to work for them. I have a decent voice and did okay in choir. Things like that. But (without sounding like a whiner) I have to say that I feel like I’m not really great at much.

Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of things that I really like to do and things that I’m okay at. But I really think I have fallen short of achieving ‘greatness’ in most categories.

I don’t want anyone to think that I am a Debbie Downer or anything like that. I will say that when I started writing on this little blog I decided that I would do it for me and that I would be honest. So I am not a Debbie Downer. I’m an Honest…Olga? (There are shockingly few girl names that start with a vowel!)

Over the years I have attained the highly sought-after status of mediocrity in many categories. I waited tables for seven years and was good at it, but definitely not the best. I worked in the same restaurant all those years and didn’t even bother to memorize the menu! Yikes. I used to run when I was younger and really enjoyed it. Now I am sooo no longer a runner, although I am trying to get back into it. I can do simple projects on my sewing machine fairly well, but haven’t come close to mastering many basic skills. I am a decent writer but have few original ideas.

That’s not where the list ends, but you get the general idea. I’m okay at a lot. So why have I not achieved greatness in any of the above categories? Along with many not listed here? I think I’ve narrowed it down to two reasons: I’m lazy and I’m a quitter.

You may be thinking that those are the same thing. And you’d have a valid point but you’d be wrong. (Sorry!)

Being lazy has kept me from trying things and being a quitter has kept me from being really great at the things I do get up off my arse to try. (Hehe) I’m not entirely certain why I was blessed with these fabulous traits, but there you have it. It reminds me of that quote of Chandler’s to Monica on Friends about why they can’t have kids. He says something like, “It means that my guys won't get off their butts, and you have a uterus that’s prepared to kill the ones that do!”

All that to say that I’m going to try. I’m going to try to do things well and to achieve excellence and not just meander through my existence on my mediocrity. (Deep, huh?) I’m running a 5K with my sister in a month and I’m doing my best to finish a few decorating projects in our apartment. I’ve got to start somewhere, and I figure if I get a few small victories under my belt I’ll be more likely to head on to the next challenge. I don’t think 28 is too old to change, do you? : )

Movin' On Up to the East...ern Part of the State

This is kind of old news, but we are completely moved out of our house! Our closing date was May 20^th and we have had a very interesting few weeks. I really just wanted to share a few of the pictures I took along the final leg of this crazy chapter in our lives.

Let me first say that as soon as we can afford it, I am going to treat myself to a manicure and pedicure and possible hair color. Not because it has anything to do with moving, but I am giving myself a reward for moving our little family. I had lots of help from my sister and Mr. Bug helped when he was home, but the long and the short of it is that I nearly went insane packing us all up. Packing up closets, sorting through clothes, sorting through toys, cleaning out desks, organizing cabinets, showing the house, running to Menards, ordering windows, reordering windows, and signing papers upon papers. Add to that the fact that I was hauling around three screaming angelic children at any given time and I think I’m entitled to spoil myself a bit, right? : )

Anyway, here are a few pictures and my reasoning for sharing them. Even if it doesn’t make sense to you, it makes sense to me so just go with it, okay?

Here is the start of my pile of boxes. I’m not sure how I forgot to take a picture of said pile right before moving but needless to say it was about 20 boxes bigger. How do we have so much crap?!

Here is our little bug on the day we moved all of our big items out of the house, which just happened to be his 8-week birthday : )

This is the only picture I have of Mr. Bug actually lifting anything even though he was like a superhero that day. There he is with our good friend Bradlee who was AWESOME on the day of the move. He and my hubby got nearly everything loaded just the two of them.

That’s Brad again on the right (his face this time) along with Uncle Bug carrying my dresser out to the trailer. Hubby is assuming more of a supervisor role in this photo. (Does that sound familiar to anyone in my family?) : )

Here is my front door. I know it might seem silly but I want to get a print of this made and hang it on my wall in a kind of photo collage wherever we move from here on out. Call me sentimental, but this is where I brought all three of my babies home from the hospital and where we went from “just the two of us” to a real family.

Sissy decided that baby bug needed a hat on during the final stages of packing, so she talked Mrs. Potato Head into letting him borrow hers. I’m not sure he was thrilled about it.

Our last time walking through the house. The girls kept going from room to room and gasping at how different it looked empty.

I remembered to get a picture of our little family the last time we were in our first home. Eden’s face here is so funny. I’m not sure why she was making this face—she was in a good mood I swear!

This is all we left behind. Don’t those keys look kind of sad sitting there? Maybe that’s just me.

The last picture I took. It was starting to mist a little bit, which seemed fitting. I kept waiting to get emotional about leaving our home but it never happened. I’m sure it will hit me sometime and then I’ll be a wreck. I’ll let you know. ; )

So there you have it! Our big move! We are now getting settled into our apartment in Lincoln and I’ll share that soon too. Whether you want me to or not. Hehe. You know you love it!

I've Put On Some Weight Since High School...

I will be the first to admit that staying in shape is not terribly high on my priority list. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to be thin and “gawgeous” but apparently not enough to pass on seconds at dinner and forego snacks like chocolate and soda. The truth is, I have absolutely no self-control.

I know what you’re thinking. Well, I have a suspicion anyway. You’re thinking that I may say that I have no self-control but that can’t possibly be true. I’m not kidding. If a package of Oreos enters my house, I will eat it without being able to stop. I honestly don’t even like Oreos anymore, but once I see that package in the cabinet, I can’t even walk by without bingeing indulging in a cookie or six. 

This is me right now. Other than during my pregnancies, this is the heaviest I've ever been. Ugh!

 So what brings on this awkward discussion on personal weight and control? My ten-year high school reunion is coming up in a few weeks. Cue the collective sigh of dread and hopelessness. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? : )

I remember my senior year of high school and thinking that I was sooo fat at my whopping 125 pounds. Now, three kids, ten years and roughly 40 pounds later, I look at pictures from way back then and think “If only!” 

This is one of our engagement pictures. It makes me want to diet. And also get bangs. : )

I can make excuses for myself and say that it’s having babies that’s done it to me. Or I could say that since I’m approaching the big 3-0 it’s just going to be harder to lose weight from here on out. Both of those things might be somewhat true, but I see women with more kids than I have who manage their weight with diet and exercise. I love food, so dieting is out. And I loooooove sitting and doing nothing, so icksnay on the exercisingay.

I am aware that at this point it is starting to sound like I have resolved to be fat big-boned for the rest of my life, but this is not the case. I am looking forward to getting back to a regular workout schedule and getting into some smaller pants. I’m not even going to tell you what size jeans I’m wearing now because my fingers refuse to hit those keys.

But I won’t do it by the reunion. Alas, I shall go to the reunion and charm them with my smile and jolly demeanor. That really shouldn’t be that hard since I am generally acknowledged to be freaking hilarious. (That might be some kind of coping mechanism but it’s gotten me through life until now. If it ain’t broke, right) : )

Now that I’ve come to this conclusion and accepted the fact that I will probably still be slightly chubby at the reunion, I’m actually really looking forward to it. I won’t be stressing about who looks better than me or who’s made it through the last ten years without gray hairs – not me – I’ll just be having fun. And I like fun. Almost as much as I like Wheat Thins. Ooooohhh, Wheat Thins…I’m suddenly hungry. Catch you on the flip side! : )

Hey Now, I'm An All-Star

Okay, maybe I’m not an all-star, but I’m feeling pretty good today. It’s been a good day. I will be the first to admit that this whole going-it-alone approach to parenting and keeping three kids alive is hard, but today was more than survival.

The day began with the girls waking up earlier than usual at 6:30 or so. I was immediately convinced that today was going to be long and awful since I would inevitably be completely exhausted all day and the girls probably would be too. (We had a rough morning yesterday and I was terrified of repeating it today.) But happily I was wrong.

The first thing that got me looking on the sunny side of life (sorry I had to) was the realization that I didn’t have a headache. Usually lately I wake up with a headache that ranges anywhere from irritating to nearly debilitating, so waking up pain-free was kind of a big deal. : ) After this glorious realization came another one that was equally wonderful: the girls were playing nicely together and not fighting. I’m pretty sure some kind of extraterrestrial being came in the dead of night and switched my kids out for these delightful little beings, but even if these aren’t my kids I’m pretty sure we’ll get along just fine.

So with my early start to the day I was able to get all three kids up, dressed, fed, and even give Judah a bath by 9:00. I know this doesn’t sound that impressive but trust me, it is. From there we spent some time playing and stripping sheets off the beds, taking some of my décor off the walls and folding laundry. After that we colored pictures, did dishes and watched part of The One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band.

Lunch was nothing special with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but the girls love those and they ate so well and didn’t fight or anything. (Another reason I’m fairly sure they’re not my children.) We even finished early enough to snap a few pictures of all three kiddos before taking Miss Eden to preschool for Black & White day.

It looks like Baby Judah is upset here but he wasn't. Just in case you're wondering : )

He's just talking and cooing and getting chubby. Just what babies are supposed to do!

One of the preschool moms gave me a gift for Judah while we were dropping the kids off and Sissy was so excited! She carried the bag back out to the car and pleaded for me to open it so she could see what was inside. When I pulled out the cute little t-shirt and shorts (Thanks Carissa!) she said with a squeal, “It’s clothes! I was thinking it might be clothes.” She’s catching on to some pretty grown-up phrases for a two-year-old. : )

Aside from a pretty serious freakout from Eden this afternoon which we got through, today has been a pretty smooth day. We walked to the park after dinner and the girls had a blast on the playground. It was fun to see Eden’s hair get more and more staticky each time she went down the tunnel slide. And every time Sissy got to the bottom of a slide she’d yell “I’m the winner!” Too funny. 

Eden kept running over to me and giving me a thumbs-up!

And this is Sissy's version of a thumbs-up : )

So I guess the moral of the story here is that a really trying and long day can be followed by one with smooth sailing. I felt like a ‘good mom’ today. I didn’t expect today to be good, but I was blessed. My kids blessed me today. : )

P.S. As I was sitting here typing this, Judah just rolled over for the sixth time! He’s a pretty awesome little man!