Wednesday, May 9, 2012

A Mother's Work...You Get the Idea

As I’m sure many of you are aware, Mother’s Day is right around the corner. I have three versions of a possible Mother’s Day in my head, and I’d like to share them with you. Because I know that deep down, you really want to know. Deep deep deep down. : )

The first version is my ‘Ideal Mother’s Day’ scenario. I wake up after sleeping as long as I want and find that my husband has fixed an amazing breakfast (he makes fantastic French toast). He has also fed, bathed and dressed all three of our children. I then sit down to eat my French toast and put as much powdered sugar on top as I want. Because I can. We then go to church, out to lunch and basically waste the entire day. I nap if I want to. During this entire day I will not change one single diaper, take one little person to the bathroom, wash one single dish, or cook one single food item. I will also not be responsible for managing nap times, whining children or any spills or messes. I will eat chocolate, cream cheese, peanut butter, and whatever else I want. And then I will go to bed whenever I decide it’s time. I may run through a meadow at some point if I want to exert that much energy.

Beautiful, isn’t it?

My second scenario is the ‘Ideal 2.0 Mother’s Day’ scenario. It includes all of the above, with the addition of a back rub and foot massage. It would also include a number of gifts including, but not limited to:

This rug from Urban Outfitters

This rug from Urban Outfitters

This painting by Kathryn Trotter

This print from Etsy

A new iPhone case that’s purdy. Like this one

This necklace from Etsy

Actually, just a sizable gift card I could use on Etsy would be great

And then, there’s the third scenario. This is the ‘What Will Probably Actually Happen’ scenario. I will wake up at about 6:30 (which is roughly when Judah has been waking up lately) and stumble out to the kitchen to try to find something moderately healthy to feed my children. Landon will probably be out of town on a trip, so my day will be shockingly similar to any other day except that this day, I will feel much more cheated than I do on any given day. But at the end of the day, I will put my little munchkins to bed. I will kiss them goodnight and after eating an eNORmous Snickers Blizzard…I will get down on my knees and thank God that he saw fit to trust me with these three little human beings. These three little ankle-biters, little crazy people, little miracles. Because I certainly don’t deserve them. But amazingly enough, they’re here with me. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Birthday Party Planning

I am in the process of planning Eden's 5th birthday party. (I honestly cannot believe that on June 8th my little Eden Mae will be five years old!) After seeing the movie Gnomeo & Juliet a couple of months ago, she decided that she wanted to use that as the theme for her party. So I’m giving it my all.

Let me first say that I love birthdays. They are such a big deal to me. They are the only day that belongs to just one person in the family. (Unless you’re one of those unlucky people who are cursed blessed enough to share your birthday with someone else in your family. Sucks to be you!) : ) Everything else you have to share—Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day. Heck, even when you’re a mom and you’ve finally got Mother’s Day you’re sharing it with your own mom, grandma, and mother-in-law. Not that they don’t deserve it too. It’s just that it’s shared.

Eden on her 4th birthday. She was really excited about having her own decorated chair!
But birthdays are all yours. And my poor Eden didn’t really get much of a birthday last year. We had just moved to Lincoln on June 2nd and there were boxes everywhere. We had absolutely NO money for a party. Zip. Nada. Her birthday dinner was toasted cheese and tomato soup. I baked her a cake, but it looked like crap so I stuck candles in her toasted cheese to make up for the fact that her birthday was so lame. Her gifts? A $5 umbrella from Wal-Mart and a bath toy that I had gotten for free that she was way too old for. And Landon couldn’t even be here since he was still training for work. Lame-o. So this year, I am determined to give her just the party she wants. Never mind that we will have just moved into a new place. Never mind that we will again have boxes everywhere or that Landon will be in a new training program (but should actually be home this time). This party’s going to rock!

Eden's birthday dinner. Notice the boxes off to the left and the mess on the right.
Sad little birthday cake!
What a sweetheart to be so excited about such lame gifts!
Now I’ll be honest, when we first rented Gnomeo & Juliet I didn’t even want to watch it. I picked it up at Redbox one night when Landon had been gone for a couple of days and I just needed to keep the girls occupied for a couple of hours to finish off the day. But it was really cute! Surprisingly cute. And the Elton John soundtrack was perfect. I’m not normally a huge Elton John fan, but it was so fun for this movie! As soon as the movie was over, Eden announced that she wanted a Gnomeo & Juliet birthday party. And I said, “As you wish.” (Name that movie!)

I started searching the online Bibles of ideas—Pinterest and Google. And I was happily surprised to find out that there are actually a lot of fun ideas for a Gnomeo & Juliet-themed party. So I’m working on it. I’ll leave you with a couple of the ideas that I really love. I definitely won’t be able to do all of this, but I’m really excited to do a couple of fun things for her!

Pssst! If you want to see where I found these pictures, here’s the link to my Pinterest board. : )

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Uncensored Kiddos

It continues to amaze me how blunt and brutal kids are. All the things that are censored in our adult minds just fall out of their mouths like broccoli rejects. After Eden asked me not to hug her last night because my armpits smelled bad (just keeping it real!), I put together a list of some of my favorite/most embarrassing kid broccoli-vomit moments.

Eden at Target when we saw a girl wearing shorts so short you almost couldn’t tell she was wearing any: “Mommy, doesn’t she know she’s supposed to wear pants?” Yes, the girl heard her. It was awesome.

Another Target visit when Eden spotted a cashier with a nose ring that looked remarkably like a booger: “Mommy, that lady has a big pink booger on her nose!” Yes, the lady heard her. I would think that someone with a booger-looking nose ring would have more of a sense of humor. : )

Adaleine a few weeks after I had Judah: “Mommy, do you have another baby in your tummy? I thought your tummy was big because of Judah!” Yes, I heard her. I may or may not have cried. I blame the hormones.

Adaleine to me as the girls and I are dancing to Shake Your Bon Bon: “Mommy, your bottom shakes a LOT more than mine!” I don’t think I can say anything to redeem myself here, so I’m just going to move on.

Eden during the winter after hearing a lot of People’s City Mission ads on the radio: “I’m so glad we’re not poor and living in our car! If we did get poor though we could just go to the people city machine. They’ll fix it.” Umm, yes. That’s right dear.

Adaleine trying to describe who she had the most fun with at a picnic: “She had a pretty green shirt on and lots of nipples.” To clarify—she meant to say pimples. And by pimples, she meant freckles. It took us a couple minutes to figure that one out.

So the next time you see someone and all you can think is “Oh my gosh! That nose ring looks like a big pink booger!” you can rest assured that you are absolutely not the first person to think that. : )