Uncensored Kiddos

It continues to amaze me how blunt and brutal kids are. All the things that are censored in our adult minds just fall out of their mouths like broccoli rejects. After Eden asked me not to hug her last night because my armpits smelled bad (just keeping it real!), I put together a list of some of my favorite/most embarrassing kid broccoli-vomit moments.

Eden at Target when we saw a girl wearing shorts so short you almost couldn’t tell she was wearing any: “Mommy, doesn’t she know she’s supposed to wear pants?” Yes, the girl heard her. It was awesome.

Another Target visit when Eden spotted a cashier with a nose ring that looked remarkably like a booger: “Mommy, that lady has a big pink booger on her nose!” Yes, the lady heard her. I would think that someone with a booger-looking nose ring would have more of a sense of humor. : )

Adaleine a few weeks after I had Judah: “Mommy, do you have another baby in your tummy? I thought your tummy was big because of Judah!” Yes, I heard her. I may or may not have cried. I blame the hormones.

Adaleine to me as the girls and I are dancing to Shake Your Bon Bon: “Mommy, your bottom shakes a LOT more than mine!” I don’t think I can say anything to redeem myself here, so I’m just going to move on.

Eden during the winter after hearing a lot of People’s City Mission ads on the radio: “I’m so glad we’re not poor and living in our car! If we did get poor though we could just go to the people city machine. They’ll fix it.” Umm, yes. That’s right dear.

Adaleine trying to describe who she had the most fun with at a picnic: “She had a pretty green shirt on and lots of nipples.” To clarify—she meant to say pimples. And by pimples, she meant freckles. It took us a couple minutes to figure that one out.

So the next time you see someone and all you can think is “Oh my gosh! That nose ring looks like a big pink booger!” you can rest assured that you are absolutely not the first person to think that. : )