Mr. Bug has been working a lot lately, which means he’s been travelling a lot. This is hard on all of us in different ways. He hates it because he misses time with the kiddos and with me. Sissy hates it because she is a Daddy’s girl and misses him like crazy when he’s gone. Judah is still kind of oblivious to the whole thing at this point, but he loves talking to Daddy on the phone at bedtime.
I have a hard time during these stretches for a number of reasons. For one, my husband is my best friend (sickeningly cute, I know) and I miss him when he’s not here. Second, we have three little munsters and it’s hard flying solo 24/7. I have NO IDEA how single parents and military spouses do it. By the end of a busy work week I simply have no conversation or energy left to expend and I stare blankly at friend’s faces when they are silly enough to try to talk to me.
Miss Eden is getting to an age, I think, when she is becoming more and more aware of how I’m really feeling. She can sense when I’m near the breaking point; she knows these past couple of weeks have been looooong and exhausting. Since she’s in school all day long, five days a week we don’t get much time together to just…be.
After the fifth or sixth day sans ‘Paternal Parent Figure,’ Eden just started coming into my room and sleeping with me. She would snuggle up to me/my body pillow and soak up the mommy-ness. On about day eight she just sat down and said she wanted some time alone with me.
My sweet Eden. She gets a bad rap sometimes because she’s so strong and seems so sure of herself, while Adaleine is so charming and easygoing. Eden will sometimes stiffen in a hug and her sister will throw her arms around you. When Eden holds back, Adaleine leaps ahead with bouncing ringlets and 1,000-watt smile.
But Eden has a heart that is so soft and sweet and longing for connection and encouragement. She is beginning to be quite the reader and takes so much pride in her new skill. She will read book after book to her little brother, and only gets frustrated some of the time. : )
So when I knew Landon was going to be home this afternoon, I told my Eden that she and I were going on a special afternoon together, just the two of us. She started bouncing up and down—a very common Eden response to good news—and said she couldn’t wait.
We didn’t do anything fancy. We made a special trip to the mall to get cookies at The Cookie Company. When I told her she could choose whatever flavor she wanted for her very own big cookie, you would think she’d never tasted sugar before she was so excited. (And she’s totally tasted sugar before.)
After our cookie excursion we headed over to the craft store to see if we could find any butterfly goodies for her birthday party coming up in a couple of months. She ooh’d and aahh’d over stickers and key chains and held my hand the entire time. She was a little sponge and she was soaking up our time together.
My Eden is coming up on her sixth birthday. Six!! And as much as I know that she’s still a little girl who needs to be treated with care and gentleness, the knowledge is creeping in that she’s entering a whole new phase of life. There’s so much complexity in this little girl that it amazes and terrifies me at the same time. Some days I don’t know how to be a mommy and I can’t imagine what I possibly have to give, but I’m reminded that so much of being a mommy is simply ‘being.’ Sometimes that is all they need from me and I can always dig down for a little more to dole out.
My Eden. My delight.