You Know You're a Stay-at-Home Mom When...

These golden little nuggets have been rolling around in my head for a while now, so I thought I’d put together a list and share them with you. I present to you:

 

You Know You’re a Stay-at-Home Mom When…

 

*a solo trip to Wal-Mart is the equivalent to a day at the spa

 

The elusive purse in the baby seat, sighted only on rare trips without children

 

*you regularly sit down on the toilet seat and realize too late it’s been…piddled on

*eating Velveeta shells and cheese rather than plain ol’ Kraft feels fancy

 

 

*you automatically select Netflix for Kids, even after the little munsters are in bed

*’a long shower’ is roughly 7 minutes long

*you are more excited for a snow day than your kids are

 

 

*’sleeping in’ includes anything past 7:00 AM

*your popular Google searches include the words ‘poop,’ ‘vomit,’ or ‘how to tell if your child is the antichrist’

 

 

*the seat cushion of your vehicle is perfectly molded to your behind

*wearing yoga pants and sneakers makes you feel athletic

*you hate the parents who bring Play-Doh as a gift to birthday parties

 

*on the rare occasion you’re in the car by yourself, even a quiet radio seems too loud

*you have passionate feelings about your Crockpot

 

 

*when searching for a new topic of conversation, your child’s recent bowel movement seems like a perfectly acceptable option

*you have a Pinterest board dedicated to school lunch ideas

 

*you eat more Goldfish crackers than any grown woman should

*childcare options are the first thing to pop into your head any time a friend suggests an adults-only activity

*a neatly organized calendar gets you all hot and bothered 

 

 

*you can identify any kids show by the first three notes of its annoying theme song

*you’re aware of how strange it is for you to like Tangled as much as your daughters and you simply don’t care 

*you can hear a pacifier fall out of the crib on the top floor from the basement

 

 

 

*’Pajama Day’ is your favorite day of the week

*an uninterrupted trip to the bathroom is your own version of Utopia 

 

 

*laundry is—without question—your arch nemesis

*you regularly wake up with multiple people in your bed in a very non-kinky way

 

 

 

*the only difference between a day when you’re sick and a day when you’re not is … okay there’s no difference

*you’ve been mentally adding to this list as you read

 

I know I didn’t get them all! What are some of yours?? Share with me : )