Friday, March 8, 2013

You Know You're a Stay-at-Home Mom When...

These golden little nuggets have been rolling around in my head for a while now, so I thought I’d put together a list and share them with you. I present to you:
You Know You’re a Stay-at-Home Mom When…
*a solo trip to Wal-Mart is the equivalent to a day at the spa
The elusive purse in the baby seat, sighted only on rare trips without children
*you regularly sit down on the toilet seat and realize too late it’s been…piddled on
*eating Velveeta shells and cheese rather than plain ol’ Kraft feels fancy
*you automatically select Netflix for Kids, even after the little munsters are in bed
*’a long shower’ is roughly 7 minutes long
*you are more excited for a snow day than your kids are
*’sleeping in’ includes anything past 7:00 AM
*your popular Google searches include the words ‘poop,’ ‘vomit,’ or ‘how to tell if your child is the antichrist’
*the seat cushion of your vehicle is perfectly molded to your behind
*wearing yoga pants and sneakers makes you feel athletic
*you hate the parents who bring Play-Doh as a gift to birthday parties
*on the rare occasion you’re in the car by yourself, even a quiet radio seems too loud
*you have passionate feelings about your Crockpot
*when searching for a new topic of conversation, your child’s recent bowel movement seems like a perfectly acceptable option
*you have a Pinterest board dedicated to school lunch ideas

*you eat more Goldfish crackers than any grown woman should
*childcare options are the first thing to pop into your head any time a friend suggests an adults-only activity
*a neatly organized calendar gets you all hot and bothered 
*you can identify any kids show by the first three notes of its annoying theme song
*you’re aware of how strange it is for you to like Tangled as much as your daughters and you simply don’t care 
*you can hear a pacifier fall out of the crib on the top floor from the basement
*’Pajama Day’ is your favorite day of the week
*an uninterrupted trip to the bathroom is your own version of Utopia 
*laundry is—without question—your arch nemesis
*you regularly wake up with multiple people in your bed in a very non-kinky way

*the only difference between a day when you’re sick and a day when you’re not is … okay there’s no difference
*you’ve been mentally adding to this list as you read
I know I didn’t get them all! What are some of yours?? Share with me : )