I've Put On Some Weight Since High School...

I will be the first to admit that staying in shape is not terribly high on my priority list. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to be thin and “gawgeous” but apparently not enough to pass on seconds at dinner and forego snacks like chocolate and soda. The truth is, I have absolutely no self-control.

I know what you’re thinking. Well, I have a suspicion anyway. You’re thinking that I may say that I have no self-control but that can’t possibly be true. I’m not kidding. If a package of Oreos enters my house, I will eat it without being able to stop. I honestly don’t even like Oreos anymore, but once I see that package in the cabinet, I can’t even walk by without bingeing indulging in a cookie or six. 

This is me right now. Other than during my pregnancies, this is the heaviest I've ever been. Ugh!

 So what brings on this awkward discussion on personal weight and control? My ten-year high school reunion is coming up in a few weeks. Cue the collective sigh of dread and hopelessness. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? : )

I remember my senior year of high school and thinking that I was sooo fat at my whopping 125 pounds. Now, three kids, ten years and roughly 40 pounds later, I look at pictures from way back then and think “If only!” 

This is one of our engagement pictures. It makes me want to diet. And also get bangs. : )

I can make excuses for myself and say that it’s having babies that’s done it to me. Or I could say that since I’m approaching the big 3-0 it’s just going to be harder to lose weight from here on out. Both of those things might be somewhat true, but I see women with more kids than I have who manage their weight with diet and exercise. I love food, so dieting is out. And I loooooove sitting and doing nothing, so icksnay on the exercisingay.

I am aware that at this point it is starting to sound like I have resolved to be fat big-boned for the rest of my life, but this is not the case. I am looking forward to getting back to a regular workout schedule and getting into some smaller pants. I’m not even going to tell you what size jeans I’m wearing now because my fingers refuse to hit those keys.

But I won’t do it by the reunion. Alas, I shall go to the reunion and charm them with my smile and jolly demeanor. That really shouldn’t be that hard since I am generally acknowledged to be freaking hilarious. (That might be some kind of coping mechanism but it’s gotten me through life until now. If it ain’t broke, right) : )

Now that I’ve come to this conclusion and accepted the fact that I will probably still be slightly chubby at the reunion, I’m actually really looking forward to it. I won’t be stressing about who looks better than me or who’s made it through the last ten years without gray hairs – not me – I’ll just be having fun. And I like fun. Almost as much as I like Wheat Thins. Ooooohhh, Wheat Thins…I’m suddenly hungry. Catch you on the flip side! : )

Hey Now, I'm An All-Star

Okay, maybe I’m not an all-star, but I’m feeling pretty good today. It’s been a good day. I will be the first to admit that this whole going-it-alone approach to parenting and keeping three kids alive is hard, but today was more than survival.

The day began with the girls waking up earlier than usual at 6:30 or so. I was immediately convinced that today was going to be long and awful since I would inevitably be completely exhausted all day and the girls probably would be too. (We had a rough morning yesterday and I was terrified of repeating it today.) But happily I was wrong.

The first thing that got me looking on the sunny side of life (sorry I had to) was the realization that I didn’t have a headache. Usually lately I wake up with a headache that ranges anywhere from irritating to nearly debilitating, so waking up pain-free was kind of a big deal. : ) After this glorious realization came another one that was equally wonderful: the girls were playing nicely together and not fighting. I’m pretty sure some kind of extraterrestrial being came in the dead of night and switched my kids out for these delightful little beings, but even if these aren’t my kids I’m pretty sure we’ll get along just fine.

So with my early start to the day I was able to get all three kids up, dressed, fed, and even give Judah a bath by 9:00. I know this doesn’t sound that impressive but trust me, it is. From there we spent some time playing and stripping sheets off the beds, taking some of my décor off the walls and folding laundry. After that we colored pictures, did dishes and watched part of The One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band.

Lunch was nothing special with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but the girls love those and they ate so well and didn’t fight or anything. (Another reason I’m fairly sure they’re not my children.) We even finished early enough to snap a few pictures of all three kiddos before taking Miss Eden to preschool for Black & White day.

It looks like Baby Judah is upset here but he wasn't. Just in case you're wondering : )

He's just talking and cooing and getting chubby. Just what babies are supposed to do!

One of the preschool moms gave me a gift for Judah while we were dropping the kids off and Sissy was so excited! She carried the bag back out to the car and pleaded for me to open it so she could see what was inside. When I pulled out the cute little t-shirt and shorts (Thanks Carissa!) she said with a squeal, “It’s clothes! I was thinking it might be clothes.” She’s catching on to some pretty grown-up phrases for a two-year-old. : )

Aside from a pretty serious freakout from Eden this afternoon which we got through, today has been a pretty smooth day. We walked to the park after dinner and the girls had a blast on the playground. It was fun to see Eden’s hair get more and more staticky each time she went down the tunnel slide. And every time Sissy got to the bottom of a slide she’d yell “I’m the winner!” Too funny. 

Eden kept running over to me and giving me a thumbs-up!

And this is Sissy's version of a thumbs-up : )

So I guess the moral of the story here is that a really trying and long day can be followed by one with smooth sailing. I felt like a ‘good mom’ today. I didn’t expect today to be good, but I was blessed. My kids blessed me today. : )

P.S. As I was sitting here typing this, Judah just rolled over for the sixth time! He’s a pretty awesome little man!

Points for Trying?

I’m tired. So very tired. I know everyone’s tired and it seems like there’s really no way to not be tired at all, but I would love to just lie down and sleep for more than three hours at a time! What is really frustrating is that it’s not like I’m too busy to sleep. It’s just that it’s actually impossible—or at least very nearly impossible.

Little Judah about 30 minutes after he was born

If you’re reading this, you know that we welcomed our new little bug Judah into this world on Saturday, March 19^th. He is a wonderful little man. He’s so aware and strong and responsive! He smiles so much and coos and just makes my day about 58 times a day. There are times when he just looks at me like he can’t wait to get to know me and hear all I have to say. I love those moments. : )

Eden's first time holding Judah. She said she didn't think she would ever want to let him go. : )

Sissy getting ready to hold baby bug for the first time. She was so excited it reminded me of Lennie from Of Mice and Men.

Mr. Bug started his new job in Lincoln on Monday, March 21^st. That’s right, he went to work 100+ miles away TWO DAYS after I had the baby. Holy freaking cow. Now you understand why I haven’t posted on here in over a month. : ) Judah was born at 5:35 pm on the 19^th and Landon left for Lincoln at about 7:00 pm on Sunday to be ready for work Monday morning. And as much as I thought I was ready for it all, I wasn’t prepared for how it would all affect me emotionally.

To go off on a little baby-related tangent, I must say that I hate the whole hormonal backlash that hits after having a baby. I don’t remember noticing it after having the girls, but this time I was a complete mess. Maybe it was because I wasn’t planning on having more kids before my little Judah came along, maybe it was because Landon was gone, maybe it was because I was trying to deal with the house being for sale too, or maybe it was because God just wanted to show me exactly how much I needed my family.

I am not typically an emotional person. I don’t cry often and if I do it’s for a good reason. (Like when Hubble and Katie part ways at the end of The Way We Were. That’s totally valid.) But after my little mister was born I was crying at the drop of a hat. I felt so cursedly—female. Yuck. Thankfully that only lasted a few weeks and I am now back to my cold-hearted self again. : )

Judah at four weeks

Aside from the craziness of life with a newborn, we have also had our house up for sale since February 7^th. That was fun. (Sense the tone.) And here was God teaching me even more patience by having open houses right and left. I don’t remember signing up for lessons in patience, by the way, but I have somehow been in the advanced course for the last two months. Anyway, we are done with all of that now. House is sold, closing date set, inspection completed. As glad as I am to have the house sold, it’s hitting me that I now have a new challenge in getting all of our possessions packed up and coordinate a move without the help of my husband. Crap-ola, huh?

Out to breakfast during one of our early-morning showings. So excited for pancakes and sausage!

Don’t think that I’m not happy with where my life is at right now though. I am so excited for all the new things going on. Landon is really liking his new job, my little baby is amazing, the girls are so sweet with him, I’m super excited to move to a new city, I have tons of new ideas for decorating the apartment we’ll be moving into in Lincoln and summer is getting closer and closer. So many positives that I have actually found ways to survive thrive on less than five hours of sleep. I know that I’m not hitting all my marks and doing everything perfectly, but at least I get points for trying, right? : )

How can I complain when I have these three beautiful little ones smiling at me every day? My life is definitely full, but it's a 'cup runneth over' kind of full. : )