Monday, May 2, 2011

Points for Trying?

I’m tired. So very tired. I know everyone’s tired and it seems like there’s really no way to not be tired at all, but I would love to just lie down and sleep for more than three hours at a time! What is really frustrating is that it’s not like I’m too busy to sleep. It’s just that it’s actually impossible—or at least very nearly impossible.

Little Judah about 30 minutes after he was born

If you’re reading this, you know that we welcomed our new little bug Judah into this world on Saturday, March 19th. He is a wonderful little man. He’s so aware and strong and responsive! He smiles so much and coos and just makes my day about 58 times a day. There are times when he just looks at me like he can’t wait to get to know me and hear all I have to say. I love those moments. : )

Eden's first time holding Judah. She said she didn't think she would ever want to let him go. : )

Sissy getting ready to hold baby bug for the first time. She was so excited it reminded me of Lennie from Of Mice and Men.

Mr. Bug started his new job in Lincoln on Monday, March 21st. That’s right, he went to work 100+ miles away TWO DAYS after I had the baby. Holy freaking cow. Now you understand why I haven’t posted on here in over a month. : ) Judah was born at 5:35 pm on the 19th and Landon left for Lincoln at about 7:00 pm on Sunday to be ready for work Monday morning. And as much as I thought I was ready for it all, I wasn’t prepared for how it would all affect me emotionally.

To go off on a little baby-related tangent, I must say that I hate the whole hormonal backlash that hits after having a baby. I don’t remember noticing it after having the girls, but this time I was a complete mess. Maybe it was because I wasn’t planning on having more kids before my little Judah came along, maybe it was because Landon was gone, maybe it was because I was trying to deal with the house being for sale too, or maybe it was because God just wanted to show me exactly how much I needed my family.

I am not typically an emotional person. I don’t cry often and if I do it’s for a good reason. (Like when Hubble and Katie part ways at the end of The Way We Were. That’s totally valid.) But after my little mister was born I was crying at the drop of a hat. I felt so cursedly—female. Yuck. Thankfully that only lasted a few weeks and I am now back to my cold-hearted self again. : )

Judah at four weeks

Aside from the craziness of life with a newborn, we have also had our house up for sale since February 7th. That was fun. (Sense the tone.) And here was God teaching me even more patience by having open houses right and left. I don’t remember signing up for lessons in patience, by the way, but I have somehow been in the advanced course for the last two months. Anyway, we are done with all of that now. House is sold, closing date set, inspection completed. As glad as I am to have the house sold, it’s hitting me that I now have a new challenge in getting all of our possessions packed up and coordinate a move without the help of my husband. Crap-ola, huh?

Out to breakfast during one of our early-morning showings. So excited for pancakes and sausage!

Don’t think that I’m not happy with where my life is at right now though. I am so excited for all the new things going on. Landon is really liking his new job, my little baby is amazing, the girls are so sweet with him, I’m super excited to move to a new city, I have tons of new ideas for decorating the apartment we’ll be moving into in Lincoln and summer is getting closer and closer. So many positives that I have actually found ways to survive thrive on less than five hours of sleep. I know that I’m not hitting all my marks and doing everything perfectly, but at least I get points for trying, right? : )

How can I complain when I have these three beautiful little ones smiling at me every day? My life is definitely full, but it's a 'cup runneth over' kind of full. : )


  1. This post is really beautiful! Kudos on your attitude. And I must say, I'm totally impressed how put together your girls are on your early morning outing. It's hard to get everyone out and leave the house clean let alone clean enough for a showing and everyone looking so adorable. You are my hero :)

  2. I shouldn't be anybody's hero, but we definitely have our days when I think, "Okay. Maybe I CAN do this." :) Hope everyone's well in your home and that you're enjoying the beginnings of some nice weather!