I took
Miss Eden out on a mommy-daughter date this afternoon. We don’t do this very
often, but today was special and I’m so glad we did.
Mr. Bug
has been working a lot lately, which means he’s been travelling a lot. This is
hard on all of us in different ways. He hates it because he misses time with
the kiddos and with me. Sissy hates it because she is a Daddy’s girl and misses
him like crazy when he’s gone. Judah is still kind of oblivious to the whole thing
at this point, but he loves talking to Daddy on the phone at bedtime.
I have a
hard time during these stretches for a number of reasons. For one, my husband
is my best friend (sickeningly cute, I know) and I miss him when he’s not here. Second,
we have three little munsters and it’s hard flying solo 24/7. I have NO IDEA
how single parents and military spouses do it. By the end of a busy work week I
simply have no conversation or energy left to expend and I stare blankly at
friend’s faces when they are silly enough to try to talk to me.
Miss Eden
is getting to an age, I think, when she is becoming more and more aware of how I’m
really feeling. She can sense when I’m near the breaking point; she knows these
past couple of weeks have been looooong and exhausting. Since she’s in school
all day long, five days a week we don’t get much time together to just…be.
After the
fifth or sixth day sans ‘Paternal Parent Figure,’ Eden just started coming into
my room and sleeping with me. She would snuggle up to me/my body pillow and
soak up the mommy-ness. On about day eight she just sat down and said she
wanted some time alone with me.
My sweet Eden.
She gets a bad rap sometimes because she’s so strong and seems so sure of
herself, while Adaleine is so charming and easygoing. Eden will sometimes
stiffen in a hug and her sister will throw her arms around you. When Eden holds
back, Adaleine leaps ahead with bouncing ringlets and 1,000-watt smile.
But Eden
has a heart that is so soft and sweet and longing for connection and
encouragement. She is beginning to be quite the reader and takes so much pride
in her new skill. She will read book after book to her little brother, and only
gets frustrated some of the time. : )
So when I
knew Landon was going to be home this afternoon, I told my Eden that she and I
were going on a special afternoon together, just the two of us. She started bouncing up and down—a very common Eden response to good news—and said she
couldn’t wait.
We didn’t
do anything fancy. We made a special trip to the mall to get cookies at The
Cookie Company. When I told her she could choose whatever flavor she wanted for
her very own big cookie, you would
think she’d never tasted sugar before she was so excited. (And she’s totally tasted sugar before.)
After our
cookie excursion we headed over to the craft store to see if we could find any
butterfly goodies for her birthday party coming up in a couple of months. She ooh’d
and aahh’d over stickers and key chains and held my hand the entire time.
She was a little sponge and she was soaking up our time together.
My Eden is
coming up on her sixth birthday. Six!! And as much as I know that she’s still a
little girl who needs to be treated with care and gentleness, the knowledge is
creeping in that she’s entering a whole new phase of life. There’s so much
complexity in this little girl that it amazes and terrifies me at the same
time. Some days I don’t know how to be a mommy and I can’t imagine what I possibly
have to give, but I’m reminded that so much of being a mommy is simply ‘being.’
Sometimes that is all they need from me and I can always dig down for a little
more to dole out.
My Eden. My
delight.