Friday, April 20, 2012

Sometimes My Mom Hat is Too Tight for My Awesomeness

Sometimes it’s hard to be a mom. I don’t mean the day-to-day ‘mom-ing’ like changing diapers, wiping bottoms, fixing meals, kissing boo-boos, and ignoring calming whiny kiddos. Although that stuff is definitely challenging.

What I’m talking about is how sometimes it’s really hard to take off the ‘me’ hat and put on the ‘mom’ hat. Like allowing Eden to wear brown socks with an outfit that should not be worn with brown socks. Like allowing Adaleine to continue wearing her socks with the heals up just because it doesn’t bother her and it’s not worth the fight to get her to wear them the right way. (It sounds like I'm obsessed with socks. It's kind of a pet peeve of mine, but I'm handling it.)

I was struck by this thought as the bugs and I were leaving Tarjay this evening. Landon’s birthday is tomorrow and it occurred to me that I hadn’t allowed the girls to have any say in his gifts. So off we went and each of the girls picked out a gift for him, along with a gift bag in which to present it.

I’ll let the pictures tell the next part of the story. : )

Here is Adaleine's gift for Landon.
Add in my gift for the old man. Are you seeing where I'm going here?
Even the gift from my sister for Landon went right along with my little color theme. And then...
BAM! Add Eden's bag to the mix. Kinda hurts your eyes, huh?
You see what happened there? Eden ruined my aesthetic. Yes, I am aware that that makes me sound like a bad mom. But it really rubbed me the wrong way that she chose that stinking red bag. I even went so far as to tell her she couldn’t choose that one and gave her the choice between two other ‘acceptable’ bags.

Then I got to thinking. Did it really matter what color the bag was? No. Would it make the day more memorable to have all matching gift bags? No. Was it worth it to fight with my four-year-old daughter in the gift wrap aisle at The House of Target just so all of the presents would coordinate? No. Son of a biscuit.

As lame as it sounds, I was still thinking about that dang bag as I was driving out of the parking lot. And it occurred to me that sometimes I just want things the way I want them. But as a mom, I can’t always do that. The thing that makes it hard is this: I was ‘me’ long before I was ‘Mom.’ And even though I’ve been ‘Mom’ for going on five years, sometimes it’s hard to exchange hats. If that makes sense.

The cursed bag. : )
I love my kids. I love that they each have their own little quirks and that I will learn more and more about them as they get older. And hopefully I’ll figure out a way to make my ‘mom’ hat fit better. Or at least make it a little more stylish. : )

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